Kick Ass Guarantee
Guaranteed to blow your socks off
We are a small group of Lumberjacks that are devoted to ensuring that every one of our customers is filled with joyous celebration.
When you open your item for the first time, don't be surprised if you experience one of the following: prolonged speechlessness; immediate unexpected bowel movements; or bleeding eyeballs.
If this does not occur, or for any reason you are not 100% satisfied, contact us below and we will make it right.
Customer Service for Days
Our customer service team is reachable Monday through Friday, 8am to 4pm EST. We will do our best to get back to you quickly within those hours! Please allow a few days for us to respond.
Oh no! My address is wrong! You’re my only hope, Viking Lumberjacks!!!
Do not fret! Contact us at email@example.com and we will remedy the situation ASAP.
How can I confirm the juicy details of my mind-blowing, kick ass order?
You should get an automatic confirmation from us with current lead times and a receipt from PayPal with your order deets! Be sure to check your spam folder.
Speaking of which, how is my mind-blowing, kick ass order coming along?
Our small, Viking Lumberjack team processes a lot of orders, so we don’t regularly give updates on the progress of individual orders. We take our lead times very seriously and do our best to complete each order on time. Refer to your confirmation email for the lead time on your order. All of our products are custom, handcrafted items and we are committed to quality over quantity. If we have reached the maximum on our lead time estimate, send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will check on it for you.
Okay, hella, but I need my mind-blowing, kick ass order by a certain date. Is that doable?
Maybe! If it’s within our lead times, absolutely - but let us know at email@example.com so we can include it in your order. If it would require us to beat our lead time, then reach out to firstname.lastname@example.org to see what we can do. We can rush orders within reason, but it may require a rush processing fee.
Will I know when my mind-blowing, kick ass order has shipped? Can I get a tracking number?
Heck yeah! You will be notified by us first via email that your items are leaving the shop. Later that same day, you’ll get an email with tracking information from either USPS/Stamps.com or UPS.
I want to place a mind-blowing, kick ass order, but I live outside of the United States. Do you ship to my country?
Heck yeah! We ship worldwide. Shipping charges will depend on the weight of the order and do not include VAT/customs fees. Your local post will ask for those fees when the package arrives.
My socks were not blown off, my eyeballs have not bled, and my speech is totally intact. My order was not as mind-blowing and kick ass as promised. Can you make it right?
HECK! YEAH! If you are for any reason not 100% satisfied, email us at email@example.com and we will perform as many rituals as needed to make it up to you.
I want an extra mind-blowing, kick ass order! A uniquely built wonder! Can you do that?
Probably! We love doing custom orders and are happy to make modifications to existing products. However, this can be very time consuming and expensive. If that’s your jam, though, send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll see what we can do!
Gift Card Redemption
I have a gorgeous gift card that I want to spend on a mind-blowing, kick ass order! But uh.. How do I do that?
Send an email to email@example.com with the gift card number in the lower left corner along with the kick ass stuff you want to order! We’ll help you out from there.
Are you really Lumberjack Vikings?
HECK YEAH. We are a varied group of the most insane Viking Lumberjacks you can imagine. Our shop smells like wet dog, dry timber, and the blood of our enemies. Read more about us at dogmight.com/company.
I have a question that isn’t answered here. Who should I reach out to?
Reach out at firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll get you on the right path!